Really wish you were here

So many times the idea to do this crossed my mind, but I had not yet got around to it. It has been a long 6 months (really, more than that since you've really been here to chat with) and I've often thought that the grieving process was affecting my memory - so many times I could not remember, at all, something at work making me feel as if a bit of gas lighting were going on. At least, I'm hoping it is the grieving process. So maybe, through this, I can retain some of those memories, and find a little peace. I only have time for this quick initial post. There is much going on - most of it terrible and worse, I am unable to make it any better. I'll add the gory details later and maybe then the tears won't blur my vision.